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Top Ten Ways You Know You're Married to a Cop!
1. When you start an argument , he calls for back-up.
2. Refers to bedroom as "The Pokey".
3. Secret desire to see you in a Kevlar nightie.
4. Calls farting his "silent alarm".
5. The obvious night-stick reference.
6. You never hear him say, "Oh Man...not donuts again!!"
7. Refers to his winkie as "the ol' breathalyzer".
8. Stops you in the middle of sex to ask you if you knew how fast you were going.
9. Handcuffs don't turn him on anymore.
10. YES, that IS a gun in his pocket.
Top Ten Signs You Don't Have What It Takes To Be A Cop
1. You need at least 8 hours of sleep every night.
2. Sirens give you a headache.
3. You can't drive really fast, check a license plate on your squad computer, talk on the radio, and drink coffee, all at the same time.
4. When you see trouble brewing, your first reaction is to call 911.
5. When you get nervous, you have to pee, so you secretly wear adult diapers, just in case it's going to be a busy night.
6. You're being called for back-up, but you don't go because it's too dangerous.
7. At the scene of a riot, you refuse to get out of the car until the crowd thins out.
8. A woman gives birth in the street and you give her a ticket for littering.
9. You think frisking people and giving "mouth to mouth" to someone of your own gender is politically incorrect.
10. You're a bleeder and you faint at the sight of a papercut.
More Police Jokes and Stories
