Five0.Net

Interpreting a Police Report

What the report SAID, and..
what the report MEANT

While on routine partol...
I was in the car because the coffe shop was closed.

The motorist was operating his vehicle in a reckless manner.
He had a bumper sticker that said, "SLOW DOWN - DON'T FEED THE PIGS"

The accident scene and the safety of the victims, prevented this officer from doing traffic control.
It was raining.

This officer went out-of-service to obtain intelligence information from a street informant.
It was too hot to ride in the squad car.

I observed the suspect acting in a suspicious manner.
The dirt-bag let go with an "Oink" as I walked by.

Knowing the suspect had a criminal history...
He puked on my uniform one night...

This informant is of known credibility and has provided reliable information in the past..
I've got two theft cases hanging over his head.

While being arrested, this subject resisted causing himself to be injured in the act..
He ripped my shirt and broke my new mirror sunglasses..

The motorist was cited for multiple traffic violations.
I wrote one citation for each swearword he used.

Upon announcing my title and purpose, I heard a voice from inside the house say, "Come in", so I entered through the door..
The rock music was so loud they wouldn't have heard Patton's army, so I kicked in the door.

The members of the press at the scene were offered every courtesy within departmental policies.
I sent them to a nonexistent address which I called the "Command Post".

I gave the motorist a verbal warning for speeding...
She was a good-looking blonde who owned a liquor store, a bass boat, season football tickets and was free after my shift was over.

The Chief appeared at the scene and took command..
I sent him to the same address as the reporters.

Further interview of the witness was impossible, due to conditions.
It was my bowling night.

The motorist eyes were glassy, he had slurred speech, unsteady balance and his breath had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage.
He was howling at the moon and trying to drive the car from the back seat.

Using only enough force to restrain the suspect.
My favorite song is "Drop-kick me Jesus Through the Goal Post of Life".

The defendant asked this officer's advice on how to act before the judge at his arraignment..
I told him he didn't have the balls to call the judge the same name he called me.

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